As the wedding day nears, it is extremely important to decide the structure and tone of your ceremony. If you are choosing to write your own vows, we have compiled a list of a few helpful hints to make the process easier on you! If we can say one thing, it is to be true to yourselves and to speak from the heart. These words are your promise to one another, and being so, make sure you plan and prepare to ensure they say everything you wish to express in that moment.
1. Talk to Your Officiant. Whether you are getting married in the Church, or by an ordained friend, be sure to express to them your desire to write your own vows. They also may have great ideas or inspiration to help you get started in the writing process. Additionally, they can advise on how their service or speech will go, and how your vows will fit in.
2. Talk it Through! Talk to your soon-to-be and decide on the tone for the vows. Make sure you are both on the same page. This ensures that one person is not cracking jokes the entire time, and the other is much more serious. Being on the same page will keep the flow of the ceremony on track. Also, in these initial stages, it is a good time to decide whether you will be sharing your vows with each other before the Big Day, or you will hear them for the first time on that special day.
3. Do your Research. Some individuals may already know exactly what they wish to say, and just have to jot it down. The vast majority however will need to do a little research. Looking through love poems, taking a trip down memory lane of your relationship, or possibly listening to your favourite music as a couple could trigger the perfect words to help you prepare your vows.
4. Write down Everything! In the initial stages, we always say that writing as much down as possible will only help you in the end. See a quote you like? Jot it down. Hear a song that reminds you of them? Spotify and go through the lyrics when you can. It's better to start big, and trim down the wording as time progresses.
5. Review Time. Once you have your ideas compiled, be sure to go over it a few times. As time goes on, you may change the wording a bit, shorten a few lines, or switch the transgression of how it sounds. Doing this well before the wedding day will only help you in the end. We also highly recommend reading it aloud a few times, just so you know how it sounds, and an approximate time for how long it will take to say. We surely don't believe your vows need to be memorized, but practice certainly will make it easier on the Big Day!
Remember that this is a time for you to express your raw and pure emotions, as this is the true start to your lives together as a married couple. Think of where you have come from as a couple, and where you plan on going - there is certainly no specific guideline to follow, but as said before, always remember to speak from your heart.